May 8, 2005

General Mills, Inc.
PO Box 9452
Minneapolis, MN 55440

RE: Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars, UPC 1600026460, Better if used by 22 MAR 06

Dear General Mills Customer Services,

I was eating one of your Nature Valley Crunchy Granola Bars (Oats 'N Honey flavor which, incidentally, should be Oats 'n' Honey, as you generally use an apostrophe to indicate elision of letters and you are eliding both an A and a D) a few days ago, and I noticed a small dark spot in one of the bars. Thinking it an overly toasted oat, I ate it anyway. To my surprise, it was actually a fleck of coffee, as it distinctly tasted like that awesomely caffeinated beverage. I did not think that General Mills actually made coffee, so this was unexpected. But it got me thinking that adding caffeine to your granola bars would actually be a great idea. Sure, you're the "Official Natural Energy Bar of the PGA Tour." You could, though, be the world's first caffeinated granola bar. I'm telling you, I googled for it. There are no other caffeinated granola bars out there!

Of course, I don't really need to tell you my idea. Your "Policy on suggestions and idea submissions" (accessed at: http://consumercontacts.generalmills.com/ConsolidatedContact.aspx?page=http://www.generalmills.com/corporate) makes it very clear that "without limitation, General Mills shall exclusively own all now known or hereafter existing rights to the suggestions of every kind and nature throughout the Universe." The Universe? Seriously?

At any rate, I think that the addition of caffeine would only serve to increase the notoriety of your granola bar as a food that keeps you regular. See