31 December 2004
With all the tsunaminess that's been going on, there was a lot of news
about it on CNN's crawl at the bottom of the screen tonight. Now I
think I know the ending to the limmerick, "There once was a man from
Nantucket..."
There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who gathered some rain in a bucket.
And when he got bored,
He made his way toward
the little Thai island of Phucket.
Posted at 2350.
29 December 2004
Ankur very nearly succeeded in bringing this blog full circle by sending
me an observation today: "Being pretentious doesn't make you mature. It
makes you a whiner with a thesaurus." Had he saved it until January 1, he
would have effectively marked the
anniversary
of the inception of this blog as a vehicle for my pent-up (and, yes,
pretentious) ego. But, alas, he
suffers from premature ejaquotation.
Posted at 1311.
28 December 2004
What I learned in Las Vegas (other than that trees hurt when you run into
them): my maternal relatives are insane.
My grandmother has trouble identifying packages,
my aunt eats reindeer poop,
my
mom rides the short bus, and
I fit right in.
Posted at 1907.
27 December 2004
This evening we went to the
Hofbräuhaus in Las
Vegas,
the Whitey McWhitiest restaurant I've ever been in. There were no Asians,
no African-Americans, and no Hispanics eating at this restaurant. "Our
Bavarian chefs will prepare excellent German food for you in the
traditional style," says the website. Bavarian my ass... I saw them
sitting outside taking
a break after dinner. It wasn't that there were no Hispanics
at
the
restaurant, they were just all cooking. The website touts that it brought
German
Gemütlichkeit to the US, which I
think refers to some kind of parasitic infection transmitted through either
weiner or
schnitzel, two ill-defined German delicacies. At least I didn't get
Gemütlichkeit
from my $9
glorified mac-n-cheese (which I believe they
called
käse-spaetzel).
My grandmother got an unholy concoction of imported German beer
and Sierra Mist soda to drink (which I believe they called
Uringetränk). It was amazingly fetid. The oom pah band was
not
what
I expected... they were neither dwarves nor orange with green
hair.
Posted at 1952.
24 December 2004
Today we went skiing at the
Las Vegas
Ski and Snowboard Resort, which has
got to be the most ghetto skiing area I've ever been to. The trails were
icy, and I suck at skiing anyway, so I managed to wipe out half a dozen
times, including once into a tree. But aside from bruising my left ribs
something awful, when we were in the cafe for lunch, I noticed an
oddly-named brand of milk:
This is amusing because one of my ex-boyfriends has the last name Weber.
Their slogan? "Cream o'Weber. It just tastes better."
Since their website doesn't actually tell me where the name comes from, I
think I should
e-mail them and ask. Maybe
this time a milk company will
write me back. :p
Posted at 1240.
19 December 2004
One of the many Baptist churches on Guess Road south of my house had an
interesting sign out the other day:
Come celebrate the
season. Baby shower
for Jesus, Sunday 12/19.
I understand that some might be so inclined as to celebrate the birth
of Jesus, as we celebrate birthdays of everyone in this country. Granted,
I don't put up giant
reindeer or evergreen trees
in some misguided attempt to commemorate the fact that I am a year older,
but I can see how pagan and Christian symbols have been conflated over the
years into some bizarre Western holiday tradition. But a baby shower?
Sure, let me just go to
Target's
Club Baby (Mother: Mary MotherofGod; Father: God Almighty) and see
what Mary
registered
for... Let's see, a manger, some hay, frankincense, Savior-brand
rash cream, a Diaper Genie, and (oh, this is so
darlin') a Winnie
the Pooh layette.
Posted at 1517.
14 Dicembre 2004
Hilary mi ha trasmesso una
cartolina
dall'Italia! Ha un'immagine di una Ka su esso! Con le ale! Eccellente!
(Ho guidato una Ford Ka tutta l'estate in Donoratico.)
Posted at 1939.
10 December 2004
Alumni 211. My desk. A rabid,
cephalophagic bunny absconds with half a brain. The skull bears a note:
"Arrgh. Give me back my brain!" Note the seeming kinetic movement of the
fleeing lupin, the sliver of paper white in the clutches of the ivory
dental arcade, the eerie Easter-egg-like quality of the pink brain
contrasted with the unnatural hue of the commercially anthropomorphic
rabbit. Sheer brilliance in this, the latest installation from that most
famous of Crazy Swedish dioramists, Erik.
Posted at 1348.
9 December 2004
I got a CD in the mail today of my favorite childhood record...
Free
to Be You and Me. It includes such timeless classics as "William Wants a Doll" and such lyrics as
"Christopher John, he mowed the lawn, and Agatha Frye helped rake it," and "Parents are people; people with
children." I can't help it, though... listening to it in the car made me smile.
Posted at 2256.
8 December 2004
I came up with a new diet plan in the vein of all these silly fad diets
people are going on. If you can't beat 'em, create your own and bilk fat
people out of their money, right?
Anyway, I call my plan the 7-1-7 diet.
(The 7-1-7 Diet is copyright
2004
by Kristina Killgrove and all heirs and assigns eminating therefrom.
Kristina Killgrove Enterprises by no means endorses this diet nor
guarantees it will work. Use at your own risk. These funds are
non-transferrable. Dangerous if swallowed.) The plan involves eating
meals at 7am, 1pm, and 7pm (plus snacks and exercise) to lose 1 pound per
week:
7 - 1 - 7 = -1 Brilliant, eh?
For those of you who are now belivers in my Diet and Exercise
Goddessliness, here's a sample meal plan:
Breakfast: 2 scrambled eggs, one piece of multigrain toast with
half a pat
of butter, a handful of raspberries.
Snack/Treat: Small coffee with milk and sugar.
Lunch: Tabouhli or couscous dish, yoghurt.
Snack: Banana (or another 100-cal substitute).
Exercise: 30-45 minutes of cardio.
Dinner: Large cup or small bowl of soup, or a small pasta dish, or
a
protein dish (tofu or beans), and a salad.
Dessert: 10 mini Pepperidge Farm gingerbread men.
So if I doctor up some pics of myself for a ginormous "before" shot and a
pic of me now, think I could sell millions of books?
Posted at 1203.
7 December 2004
Frosty
and Rudolph, both of whom apparently imbibed far too much eggnog, get a
little frisky at the Classics department Christmas
party.
Posted at 1401.
6 December 2004
So I was thinking today about the predominance of a capella groups on
college campuses these days. It would appear that we have on our hands an
evolutionary progression from barbershop quartets to a capella groups. My
only guess is that it has to do with Medieval surgery occurring at
barbershops, whereas today it occurs at hospitals, many of which are
affiliated with universities. Liz suggested that perhaps chorus was an
elective in medical and dental school, so the tradition persisted. I
dunno. There's got to be something far more innate and base that links
beautiful sounds from the vocal tract and slicing into people's bodies. I
just don't know what...
Posted at 1905.
4 December 2004
Go Army, beat Nav... Oh,
who
am I kidding? But, hey, if Bush ever decides to institute the draft,
Army football might actually be good.
Posted at 1856.
3 December 2004
I got a postcard today from my friend Rachel, who is teaching English in
the UAE. She sent me a
picture of the
oldest
mosque in the UAE. She's learning Arabic, and this appears to be my
name
in that language:
Posted at 2203.
2 December 2004
Attack of the Trendy Mary Jane Shoe Brigade! Starring (clockwise from
bottom): Kristina, Erika, and Amanda.
Posted at 1405.
Frosty
and Rudolph, both of whom apparently imbibed far too much eggnog, get a
little frisky at the Classics department Christmas
party.
