King of Etruria

31 August 2004

You know those people who sit out in the median of busy roads begging for change? Well, one guy on 15-501 had on a blaze orange vest yesterday and, on the back, had written what I saw as, "Sod takes care of us all." What a fantastic liberal, green sentiment, I thought. But it turns out it said, "God takes care of us all." Homeless people should learn how to write more legibly.

 

Posted at 2334.

30 August 2004

While walking back to the classics department from Cosmic Cantina this afternoon, Dave commented that trees, with respect to rain, were like capacitors: they store a lot of it and then, when they're overburdened, just dump it all. It's as weird to hear that simile from a classicist's mouth as it is for an archaeologist to win a board game by correctly spelling the word algorithm.

 

Posted at 2024.

28 August 2004

A bunch of us are going out to dinner tonight at the Angus Barn to celebrate Patrick's friend Austin's birthday. His choice. So I, being a good friend but conscientious vegetarian, check out the menu online before we go. Ignoring the horrendously overpriced "vegetarian" entrees with probably $2 worth of vegetables terribly overcooked, check out the Desserts section. You can get Ice Cream - Vanilla or chocolate for $3.95. You can also get it Al a mode (yeah, well, no one ever said Meat House restauranteurs in central North Carolina knew French) for $1.75. Mmmmm, ice cream a la mode.

 

Posted at 1715.

27 August 2004

The Carolina Ballet called me yesterday because, even though we've only attended one performance of The Nutcracker in our entire five years in North Carolina, they think for some reason that I actually enjoy watching skinny people in body stockings leaping around in a bizarre dance-cum-charades display. I let the poor guy who had to hawk this crap go on for several minutes only because he sounded exactly like Mr. Garrison from South Park. "Uhmmm, Ms. Killgrove... This is Mr. Garrison from the Carolina Ballet, mmmmmm? We'd like to tell you about our 2005 season, mmmmm 'k? Have you ever heard of George Balanchine? It's the 500th year of his death, mmmm 'k?, and we're doing a medly of his work, mmmmm." If only Mr. Hat had come out to tell me about the Carolina Jamboree event ("With guest choreographer Lynne Taylor-Corbett, mmmm 'k?"), perhaps I would have shelled out $150 for a season ticket.

 

Posted at 0957.

24 August 2004

Who's the oldest person in the IMDB? I was searching for people with the same birthday as me and the oldest guy who was born on March 10 was Lorenzo da Ponte in 1749. According to the IMDB, he's now 255 years old. Also born in 1749 and in the IMDB? Johann Wolfgang ('von' since 1782) von Goethe, whose earliest credit is as a writer on a 1909 enactment of Faust. I know Patrick could easily find me the oldest person in the IMDB by searching the database, but what fun is that? Plus, I can give this game a name: Older than Goethe. It almost sort of kind of not really rhymes!

 

Posted at 1928.

Yeah, so I'm bored. On March 4, 1678, Antonio Vivaldi was born (and is now 326 years young). Unfortunately, he cannot be connected to Kevin Bacon.

More people who should not be in a movie database... Matthew Locke, a composer born in 1629. Alvar Nunez Cabeza de Vaca, who made a disastrous expedition to Tampa Bay in 1528. Narrowly edging out Martin Luther (November 10, 1483) is Niccolo Machiavelli, born May 3, 1469. Sir Thomas Malory was born somewhere around 1414-1420. But a random stab at his birth year doesn't really count. Geoffrey Chaucer is another Circa Baby, around 1342. And heeeeere's Mr. Decameron himself, Giovanni Boccaccio, born in 1313.

OK, this is patently ridiculous. How far back does the IMDB troll? I half expected to find biographical information for "Jesus Christ - Writer, Filmography, The Passion of the Christ." If there were a merciful and just god, Jesus would be connectible to Kevin Bacon in a number less than 3. Wait. If I can be connected to Kevin Bacon in 3, and so can Jesus... does that mean I'm Jesus?

 

Posted at 2008.

Patrick's off the phone now with the definitive answer, and I feel dumb. I didn't even think to check the IMDB for Homer. This hardly counts, does it? I mean, was he even a real person? He has a fairly extensive filmography as a writer, though, and his trademark, according to the mini-bio is dactylic hexameter verse. Says Patrick, "Does anyone credit Linear B for inspiration?" Surely the Bangles credit the Egyptian Pharaohs for Walk Like an Egyptian...

 

Posted at 2019.

17 August 2004

I learned today that catnip (Nepeta cataria) is a member of the mint family (Labiatae). This explains the occasional fur on my toothbrush.

 

Posted at 2234.

13 August 2004

Welcome to North Carolina, where we actually use the Emergency Broadcast System, we don't just test it.

 

Posted at 2018.

10 August 2004

Ingenious marketing strategy of the day: When I got back from the grocery store this evening, I noticed I had just missed a call. I played back the message on the answering machine, which began with, "Hello. This is James Earl Jones calling." Actually, I suppose it wasn't a very good advertisement - I was laughing hysterically because I had actually entertained the possibility that Darth had called me (perhaps as a replacement for Natalie Portman? ;) and was too amused to figure out what he was hawking. Turns out, it's Verizon phone service. Which is odd since we have Verizon... and loathe it. May the force be with you, James, in your capitalist quest to create a new phone monopoly.

 

Posted at 1840.

9 August 2004

I bought some pants in Italy that cost 2 euros. Of course, I didn't bother to try them on because, well, they were cheap. They don't fit (as evidenced by the picture of Joy and me modeling) because Italian women apparently have huge hips but no thighs. I decided today to pick up some inexpensive fabric and inset it into the pants in an attempt to salvage them. The lighter pants that Joy gave me might be beyond hope - I got some nice satiny Asian-inspired fabric for them, but they just look like something Liberace threw up. The darker ones with brown corduroy, however, look pretty good, I think. They're a little Stayin' Alive-y, but fit better than all the chinos I've found in this country.

 

Posted at 2048.

8 August 2004

Friday night, Sara came to stay on her way to Marty's wedding with us and we went out to Torero's for dinner. As we left the restaurant, there were two guys talking outside. One kind of sucked in his breath when he saw me, and then he apparently noticed that Patrick was with both me and Sara because he turned and said to his friend, "Man, look at that dude. He's got two of 'em!" Yup, I'm married to a mack daddy.

 

Posted at 1116.

6 August 2004

Another random act of miming happened to me today! I was sitting at the bus stop, and a car drove right into the puddle, splashing muddy water two feet from the curb, right up to my shoes. A few minutes later, a bus pulled up and skirted said puddle. A woman walking by to get on this bus looked at me, pointed to the bus, pointed to the puddle, smiled, and gave a thumbs up. My guess is that in Charades World she was saying, "Look how deftly the conscientious bus driver avoided splashing you with muddy water by steering his vehicle around that puddle."

 

Posted at 1622.

4 August 2004

I ran into Coach K at the gym today - very nearly literally, as we were both turning the same corner in the opposite direction. I had that split-second where I knew that I recognized him, but couldn't figure out from where. As I was just about to say hi, I realized who he was: famous and important with no clue who I was. :) Then, I got an overwhelming urge to tickle him (since he was glaring, as always, and bright red from his racquetball game) to see if he'd coo like the Snuggle bear. I didn't.

 

Posted at 1905.

I love European food. Nowhere on the packaging or online can I find nutritional information about Baci chocolates. Based on that, I have concluded that each Bacio has zero calories and is completely fat-free. Mmmmm.

 

Posted at 2010.

2 August 2004

Ah, the perennial question plaguing mothers and daughters today: Light meat or dark?

 

Posted at 0923.

UNC just passed a 10% raise in the base pay of graduate students. Now I'm finally getting paid more than I was in my MA program at ECU in the fall of 2000. Kind of sad.

 

Posted at 1507.

1 August 2004

I'm disappointed. Not only did I not get an iPod yesterday, but Arum didn't throw me a Kristina Is Back From the Beach party. :(

 

Posted at 1819.